I was sitting here in my Man Cave/Office just minding my business and doing some research for this blog post, when all out of the blue a cheap copy of “The Blue Screen of Death” flashes on my laptop screen along with instructions to call this 877 number so they can fix a so-called “suspicious activity” that supposedly has infected my computer. What really scared me was that it locked up my laptop to the point I couldn’t do really much of anything except doing a couple of magic keystrokes I learned from my “past” to restart my laptop.
What really made it scary was that it was at that particular instance Microsoft decided that NOW would be a great time to send out a system update just to rattle my cage even more. Immediately, three things went through my already warped and paranoid mind:
1: Was the update part of the virus? (I hope not)
2: Did I even have a virus on my laptop? (I didn’t know but was starting to get worried.)
3: Did the Russians think my laptop was connected to the DNC and was hoping to use my emails regarding me begging my future agent for a bigger book advance in order to buy more Harley accessories as part of their nefarious plan to bring down an entire convention and ruin the political career of 5-foot 7-inch megalomaniac? (I wish!)
Well, I wasn’t going to wait around to find out. I picked up Darth, which is what I call my laptop by the way, and headed over to Best Buy. Now, before you think it’s strange that I call my black laptop Darth, please be advised that the black desktop computer in the Nickels’ family room and has been dubbed “The Death Star”. But Mrs. Nickels said under no circumstances were I to call her clean and shiny white laptop Leia. So, there you go.
Anyway, I get over to Best Buy and I tell the Geek Squad guy what happened and he tells me that I was smart for not calling that phone number. Because what happens is when you call that number, they play off like they are from Microsoft, give you a bunch of instructions to follow and basically what you’ve done is self-hacked your computer and now THEY have access to everything on your system.
So Geek Squad guy does a check of my system and discovers that I do not have any virus’ in my system, gives me a sucker, pats me on the head and sends me on my merry way. And as I am walking through Best Buy thinking to myself “I wonder if I could buy this new 60-inch TV to replace the 55-inch one that I have in my Man Cave/Office without Mrs. Nickels finding out.”
Of course, it is at that exact moment Mrs. Nickels sends me a text from work that has only 5 words to it: “Don’t even think about it!”
Man, this woman is good!
Since buying the TV was out of the question, I got to looking at the other laptops and computers they have in the store which got me to thinking about my little computer scare and what the DNC when though with their emails being hacked. Now, based on what I read in the online new sources, I understand that it was the Russians who did the hacking, released the emails/information to the public and basically created a PR nightmare for said DNC.
Okay, so the hackers are in Russia and there isn’t a lot we can do about it. I doubt if the US of A will go to war over with the former Soviet Union over hackers and another “E-Mail Scandal” (major eye roll inserted here). But wouldn’t it be hilarious if Edward Snowden was the guy behind the hack of the DNC and this was his way of getting even with The President though his own political party? I mean, Snowden is in Russia right now. It’s not like he doesn’t have a motive, opportunity, lack of knowledge, and available equipment. Right?
Two of the major Democrats who running to be their party’s choice for president both of them thought that Snowden should have been brought to trial. Maybe Eddie was trying to return the favor? Who knows?
What I am trying to get at is that people, and I’m using that term “people” loosely here, who have nothing better to do than to hack into other people’s computers for the explicit purpose of obtaining more of their ill-gotten gains should be given a punishment that is worthy of the crime. When you think about it, the majority of the way we do things in this world is done, for the most part, via a computer in one way or another. I wrote this post on a computer. My drink at Starbucks rang up on a computer. Do you think they used an abacus or a slide rule when they did the math to build One World Trade Center in New York? When was the last time you were in a hospital? The place is full of computers! While I do understand our constitution does have a clause in it doesn’t allow for “Cruel and Unusual Punishment” there has to be a line drawn somewhere. Because when you are messing with computer systems, then you are dealing with people’s lives, the lives of their families, their lively hoods and to a greater extent how our government conducts business and our national security.
I wasn’t trying to write a political post here. All I wanted to get across is that Darth is doing much better now, Mrs. Nickels still won’t let me get that TV for my Man Cave/Office and Edward Snowden is probably laughing his frozen butt off right now in Russia.