My New Super Powers

Soon, I will be becoming another year older. I won’t say when exactly I am becoming older, or as Mrs. Nickels likes to say “One step closer to death”, but it will be before my next blog post.

But I noticed that as I am getting older, I am finding out things about myself that I didn’t know I was capable of doing when I was younger: I am obtaining new super powers. For example: Losing things.

This morning I was working on a narration for our church’s Easter program. Well, I should say, I started to work on it. Because I had a handwritten note that I had put together with the aid of the choir director as to which order he wanted the songs and then I was going to not only write but deliver the narration for the program.

Notice the term “I started to work on it.” For you see, I lost the note that had the songs written numbers written on it. Sure, I had the songbook we were going to use. But we were going to take the songs out of order and I needed that note in order to comprise the proper narration sequence.

I had that note sitting on my laptop here in The Batcave. I know for a fact that it did not leave my desk. I was working on writing the narration, I moved it from one side of my desk to the other so I could type out something else. When I went back to retrieve said piece of paper, it was gone!

I have no idea where that paper went. I tore my whole desk apart looking for it. I looked in and under my laptop. Not there. I looked in my Bible. Not there. Every book on my desk. Not there. Dumpster dived my own trashcan under my desk. Not there. Every file, every scrap of paper on my desk has either flipped over, read over, visually scanned and still no list. It’s like that sucker just went up in smoke.

I even texted Mrs. Nickels at work and told her of my dilemma. Now, even though I couldn’t see physically see her, I can just imagine her sitting there in her office at work, reading my text about how I lost one piece of paper, the description of the lengths I went to in looking for it, she is wisely shaking her lovely head and then thinking to herself. “And he wonders why I never left him alone with the kids when they were babies.”

I guess with age you lose the super powers of your youth and you gain a whole set of new ones.

Another age appropriate super power that I seem to be developing is Wisdom. Ok, I call it Wisdom, others in my family call it “Dad’s frustration as to how many stupid people he thinks there are in the world.”

The fun part about obtaining this super power of Wisdom is that it hits you out of the blue like a bolt of lightning. One day you are calmly sitting in your dining room reading the paper and drinking coffee on a leisurely Saturday morning with the love your life and the next moment your blood pressure goes through the roof as you read how an environmental group got a court ordered injunction to stop construction of a much-needed kids playground because it would cause “irreparable harm” to a 1/8th of an inch mauve colored left-handed butterfly.

Yes, there are idiots about who think that the welfare of a 1/8th of an inch mauve colored left-handed butterfly is more important that the safe play area for human children. Oh wait, it gets better! Our governor “Governor Moonbeam” is all for protecting the rights of this “legacy of California.” Rights? What rights does a butterfly measuring 1/8th of an inch long, decked out in a color that all the other colors label as a “sissy”; who’s winter migration flight consists of the entire “herd” flittering across the street and spending the winter in my cousin Benny’s garage? Notice I didn’t say anything bad about it being left handed? I know some really cool people who are left handed, included the above-mentioned cousin Benny, so the butterfly gets a pass there. And it’s so-called “legacy.” What legacy? Tell me what contributions to California’s society, economic structure, political enhancements or even as a member of an outdated boy band has this insect accomplished?

Something just dawned on me. Maybe I am not getting two separate super powers? Maybe I am not just gaining the ability to lose things and then another super power of wisdom? Maybe they are really just one in the same?

Maybe, just maybe, I am just losing my mind as to what this world is becoming!

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