Writing Can Be Like A Bad First Date

After taking a brief break from the blog for reasons that I won’t go into now, I find myself sitting here on a Saturday staring at my laptop and wondering just what in the world that I am going to say.

See, every time a writer sits down to write is like when two people go out on a first date. They sit there at a table across from each other. Slowly taking sips from whatever beverage they are having at a restaurant neither one of them have ever been to in their lives. Looking at menus and trying to decide which of the dinner offerings they can pick that will not be too expensive, (because it’s only the first date and you don’t know if you will be seeing them again, so why shell out the money?). Not too big, but just enough you can take a doggie bag home with you so you’ll have something for lunch at work the next day. While the entire time you are trying to think of something witty to say so you don’t look like an uneducated dork.

The only difference between me & my laptop and the above-mentioned couple is that I’m having coffee because I’m too cheap to take myself out to eat. I’m sitting here trying to say something witty to my laptop and all she is doing is staring at me and wondering what’s the next lame line is going to be. I know she isn’t interested in me because she just pulled the laptop equivalent of “Going to the Ladies Room” at which time she “phoned a friend” to help her get out of this date from Hell.

Now, what that means in plain English is that my laptop sent an S.O.S. text to her friends at Microsoft, who, being the good wing people that they are, comes to her rescue to save said laptop from more drudgery with “Windows has decided to take this particular moment to perform a major update to your operating system.”

Translation: “You are going to be out of commission for the next two hours”

Sorry to say, this must be a short post. Because for the next two hours, my laptop will be like a bad first date:  spending the next two hours sitting there in the cyberspace equivalent of the “The Ladies Room” talking with her friends about what a lame date she is on.

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