A 2-Year-Old With A Limited Vocabulary And Access To A Cell Phone.

In Act-V of Scene-IV of William Shakespeare’s play Richard III, the main Character, who by some strange coincidence was named Richard III, said the following line: “A horse, A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

When I read that, I got to thinking that if you only needed a horse to take over or save a kingdom, what would you need to take over the world?

If you are Kim Jong-un, whose name in Korean means “Short guy with a really bad hair cut and anger management issues”, he believes that stock piling nuclear arms in a country that can’t feed itself is the way to go.


Or, maybe you take over the world using the strength of money. Now, while I am not a conspiracy theorist, there are those people out there who believe there is a centralized organization that is truly controlling the financial stability of the planet. I mean, if you have no money, you are unable to purchase food to feed your family, ammo to fend off the people who want to take from you and yours what little you’ve got, and, without the power of money, you can’t afford your cable bill, which means your cable gets shut off and you can’t watch Games of Thrones, Walking Dead or reruns of Oprah.

Maybe people think that through the “honorable profession” of being a politician, one could take over the world. If you believe that, I’ve got just two words for you: Adolf Hitler.

Anyways, I got to thinking about what it would really take to have humanity kowtow to one person’s whims and a moments notice and the answer came to me in a flash: A 2-year-old with a limited vocabulary and access to a cell phone.

Now, before you decide to move on to another not as interesting as the one you are reading blog site, let me explain.

See, the people in power are usually “much older people.” And in order to get into power, they had to do the usual stabbing in the back, taking payoffs and having people killed who either get in their way or make them look bad to the public. But one of the things that just about everyone in power has, is a family. They are usually married and have kids because they have to show the “voting public” a “stability factor” that they are “just like us” with families of their own. Now, for us parents, when our kids usually ask us for something, we can usually tell them “No” and get on to it.

But when those same annoyances, I mean, kids, start having kids of their own, then that is when the whole dynamic changes. Suddenly, the things that your kids did that drove you up the wall, is now considered “cute and adorable” because now is your GRANDKIDS who are the ones doing it.

Suddenly, when a grandkid calls you and asks you for something, you get it for them. You can be the poorest guy on the planet or the richest and most powerful person in the world and when your grandkids ask you for something or to do something, you’ll move heaven and earth just to see that little minion smile.

Case in point. I have a granddaughter by the name of “Roo.” No, that is not her real name, but it is the name I call her. One day I was driving down the street and my phone goes off. I quickly look down at my phone and I see that my daughter “Tigger” is calling me. Again, that is not her real name, but it is the name I call her.

So, after saying “Hello”, instead of hearing my daughter’s voice, I hear my 2-year-old grand daughter say “Hi Papa.”

And the conversation goes like this:

“Hi Papa,” says Roo.

“Hi Roo. Do you have Mommy’s cell phone?”

“Uh huh”

“Where’s Mommy?”

Roo pauses for a second then says “Upstairs.”



“Well, Roo. Uh, what’s can I do for you?”


“Yes Roo?”

“I want a red burrito, fries and cherry coke.”

“You do?”

“Yes Papa. I want a red burrito, fries and cherry coke.”

To which the answer to this situation was a no brainer. I said, “Papa will be right over with your red burrito, fries and cherry coke.”

“Ok, Bye Papa.”

“Bye Roo.” And we hung up.

And yes, I did go get her a red burrito, fries and cherry coke. And yes I did take it to her house. And yes I did walk right into my daughter’s house, pick up my beautiful grand daughter off the floor where she was playing. And yes I did put her in her high chair and proceeded to watch her enjoy eating the red burrito, fries and cherry coke that her loving and doting Papa got her.

Now, just for a moment, think about this:

You’ve got a 2-year-old who has access to a cell phone and her Papa is, for all intent and purposes, “The most powerful man in the world.”  Can you see where this is heading?

Instead of grandparents giving their grandkids a “Red Burrito, Fries, and Cherry Coke”, we are now talking about people in power giving their grandkids ICBM’s, The 7th Fleet and the USMC. Del Taco has been replaced by a real life Call of Duty.

So, the next time you either watch the news or read on your tablets or computers about some of the bizarre or strange goings on in the world, it may not be the stupidity of our elected officials. It could be something as simple as a doting grandparent giving into their grandchild who deep down has aspirations of “Taking over the world.”

Now that I’ve totally messed with the way you look at an elderly politician, CEO, or other people in power, I  now return you to your regularly scheduled life, already in progress.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s