Is Thanksgiving Becoming The Next Pluto?

Here we are at that time of year when after Memorial Day we now start getting into the Christmas Season. Some retailers tried to get the jump on things and started to already put their Christmas stuff out on Halloween night, but, for the most part, the retail establishment has practiced a quasi-amount of discretion.

I am not a big fan of the premature Christmas celebration for a variety of reasons:

First of all, it treats Thanksgiving like it’s a minor holiday. It’s almost gotten to the point that Thanksgiving is going to suffer the same fate as Pluto. You remember that. Don’t you? See, most of us grew up learning that there were 9 planets in the Solar System. Then, some astronomer or specifically the IAU (International Astronomical Union) in 2006 demoted Pluto to “Dwarf Planet” status (i.e. even though it’s a Dwarf PLANET, it doesn’t get to sit at the “Big Table” with the rest of the planets of the Solar System), hence we now, thanks to the IAU, only have 8 planets in our Solar System.

So, now I’m thinking to myself “Is there an IHU (International Holiday Union) whose job is to see if a Holiday is still ‘Major’ enough to stand on its own or will it be demoted to “Dwarf Holiday” status because nobody really takes it seriously”

I’m thinking that sometime in the future, Thanksgiving is going be downsized. Why? Elementary my dear reader. It’s because we do not pay attention to it. We do not pay homage to Thanksgiving as we do to the rest of the so-called “Major Holidays”.

Think about this for a second: When was the last time you saw a department store have a “Thanksgiving Day Sale”? You didn’t and you haven’t for many a year. But you’ll see a grip of what is now called “Black Friday” sales where people forgo their Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends just to camp out overnight in front of a department store in order to buy the next “must have item” at a “supposedly ridiculously low price” where in five years from the date of purchase will be at the aforementioned camper’s garage sale with a tag on it that reads “Make me an offer. (I’m still paying for this on my credit card.)

Now, with our luck, some guy at the IHU who has a thing about Thanksgiving because he doesn’t want to go to his In-Law’s house and deal with his wife’s crazy family who also doesn’t watch football, but uses their satellite TV to watch soccer played in some third world European country, will devise a way to get Thanksgiving demoted to Dwarf Holiday status so that he can stay home and watch The Cowboys play football.

Now, I’m sure some of you are wondering what “Dwarf Holiday” status is. Well, some of the holidays that have been “demoted” are Flag Day, Columbus Day, VE and VJ Day, Arbor Day and my personal favorite, Leap Year. See what I mean? When was the last time you saw a parade, major retail sale or gift exchange happening on the aforementioned holidays? Ever have someone come up to you and say “Happy Arbor Day”? Unless you are a lumberjack or a beaver, I don’t see that happening to anyone in the very near future. Or you turn on the TV and some department store is inviting you to come to their place and “In the spirit of Columbus, ‘discover’ all the great bargains they have ‘just for you.’”

Yeah right!

I think the only retail establishment that actually has a sale in regards to Thanksgiving are the grocery stores. I mean, you really can’t blame them and it does make a lot of sense. Grocery stores serve a valuable function: They provide us a location to buy our food instead of us having to go out and hunt for it, or in the case of vegetarians, plant and grow it themselves. It is a one-stop shop where one has a vast selection of items to choose from where one can practice the fine art of Gluttony. Because Thanksgiving is the day where we get together with family and friends and show reverence and thankfulness for all the blessings we’ve been given in this great country of ours.

But not before we stuff ourselves with Hors D’Oeuvres, turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy candy yams, veggies of all shapes and sizes, pies, cakes, cookies and if there is anything else edible on the planet, we try to eat that too. And after the eating carnage has been completed, we then loosen our belts, waddle into our respective living rooms, pass out on the couch in snoring bliss brought on by a tryptophan-induced coma and all before the 2nd quarter of the Dallas game is in the books.

So people, as a favor to a holiday that really is an “American Holiday”, let’s not put this Thanksgiving season on the backburner. Let’s start by saying “Happy Thanksgiving” until AFTER Thanksgiving has already passed. Don’t get taken up with all of the Christmas things we see in our retail establishments. Don’t let Thanksgiving be delegated to a “Dwarf Holiday” status. Rise up and let your Thanksgiving voices be heard!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled life…already in progress.

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